Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Can you believe there is love that is illegal
You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me
I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me
I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.
Oh So You’re Ignoring Me Now I Guess It Is My Fault: Fourth Novel of the Bestselling Series
It’s not that I’m busy; I swear I want to talk to you. But there are times wherein I feel like I have to distance myself to you just for a short while because I feel like I’m annoying you already. We literally talk all day long and you don’t know how much I miss you when we missed talking for some hours.
I feel like a flower dying from the heightening heat of the sun. I feel like a weed that needs to be pulled out on the lawn because I’m destroying a beautiful garden. I feel like I’m dying whenever you are not around even though I know you don’t even feel the same. I think I am destroying you more than myself; or at least that’s what I thought. Damn, can I even destroy you? Of course, not. Of course, why did I even think about that? I am nothing to you anyway but a good friend of yours while I think otherwise.
Never forget to take care of yourself even if I’m away. I’ve always wanted the best for you. Even though I want to see myself together with you, I cannot. It feels wrong because you still love her. And I think I’m just a support system that you need right now. It’s okay, I won’t go. But I’ll just search for myself first — I’ll search for what I really feel and I should feel.
The first time you hear it
it is an insult falling off
your mother’s tongue.
You’re four years old
and being dragged across the street
to avoid bumping into
the two boys holding hands.
The first time you see it
it is greeted with gasps
uttered by your aunt.
You’re ten years old
and watching your cousin leave the house
because she’s kissed
a girl with long hair and sad eyes.
The first time you understand it
it is a tear stained confession
coming from your best friend.
You’re fifteen years old
and listening to him
confess that he had fallen in love with
the way another boy held his hand.
The first time you feel it
it is paralysis shock
sent through your body.
You’re seventeen years old
and staring into the drunk eyes
of a beautiful girl with a beautiful mind
and she made you understand what love felt like.
How To Tell If Somebody Loves You:
Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage!
Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “oh my god, so sick. need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all.
Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.
Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “hey babe! i like you okay. do you wanna grab lunch? i think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!” It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love.
Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn’t benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to.
Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don’t care about your job or how much money you make. It’s a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they’ll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they’re able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them.
Somebody will always love you. If you don’t think this is true, then you’re not paying close enough attention."